Of splinters and logs, dust and planks

This morning a follower of Christ told me of another follower of Christ who told her matter-of-factly, "I will be praying for your salvation." That sounded odd to me since I knew her salvation had already been purchased and that nothing could seperate her from the love of God. Apparently my sister was making some choices that my other sister did not approve of so she nonchalantly judged her "unsaved."

Why do we do that to each other? Why do we judge? Why can't we see the heart and character of God in the words of Jesus who gave us a hilarious word picture about judging each other? Jesus told his listeners that before they worried about picking a speck or splinter out of a friend's eye that they first should consider the "log" or "beam" in their own eye and deal with it. (Mt. 7:3)

Can you picture that? I can. Logs are big. Beams are heavy. They are bigger than splinters, bigger than branches, bigger than limbs. When you trip over a log, you know it. If someone asks you to pile up a bunch of logs you know it's a task that is going to require more than you can provide without help. I picture it as a guy spinning around with a 10 foot beam sticking straight out of his eyeball saying, "Woah, look at you, Loser! You've got a piece of sawdust in your eye. How can you not see that and do something about it!"

Why can't we see God's heart in this? Why can't we see that it hurts His heart when we pass judgement on our brothers and sisters? Why can't we trust the Holy Spirit to do His work and be there for our brothers and sisters and love them through the messy times of life? We tend to hang our shingles on Matthew 18 and want to speed right toward booting our brothers and sisters out of the family. We miss the heart of even that process which implies time and a goal of restoration. Think about it ... "if your brother sins..." What does that mean?

I've got to measure it and evaluate it against all of Scripture. Does it mean any sin? If someone speeds, tells an ugly woman she looks beautiful, smokes or eats too much do we form a brigade and go after all the sinners to get them to comply and then throw them out if the don't submit to our code? Maybe God's talking about "the biggies" here? What are "the biggies?" Why would Jesus say this and also give us the beam and speck analogy? I believe it's a concern thing. The process of Mt. 18 should be soaked with loving care and not be a cold, hard code of enforcement.

When I am tempted to start focusing on the choices of others and inflate them to disqualifing events that cost them their very salvation, I sin. I minimize the breadth and scope of my Rescuer's rescuing. I say that it's good but not good enough to cover this one. Not good enough. Not enough.

Life is messy. We all make bad choices. We all are fragile beings who choose sin. It's not helpful at all for me to start whacking my sister with the beam sticking out of my own eye to get her to see the speck, beam, or log in her own. The process is noisy and the result is a bloody mess where everyone ends up hurt.

Humility does not puff up and say curtly, "I will pray for your salvation!" Humility says, "I love you, I worry about you and I'm praying that you seek and trust our Father in this. I have no stones to throw."

In John 8 Jesus comes to the defense of a woman caught having sex with a guy who was not her husband. (That's probably "a biggie," huh?) Against all the religious leaders, he takes her side and tells them to consider their own sin. And then, when they all wander away speechless, he turns back to the woman who is probably stairing at the ground waiting to die and he says, "Who condemns you?" She looks around and see that all the guys with the beams sticking out of their eyes are gone. She's amazed. She's rescued. She's been saved. I think she leaves changed as Jesus tells her to go and live life differently.

"I will pray for your salvation."

"Please don't. Jesus already took care of that."

The language we use

We go to the "sanctuary" to meet with God. We go to "church." We talk about "God's house" and tell children to be quiet and respectful in "God's house."

Those who stumble onto this blog hoping for answers will instead find lots of struggles and will probably leave with more questions than answers. My questions and struggles here reflect the process of my pursuing a graduate degree in Christian leadership. I find my Father allowing a good shaking that is going down to my roots.

Most recently I've been working on what seems to be a simple question, "What is the church?" I've been listening to the Psalms on my iPOD using The Bible Experience. I've been reading books about character, leadership, time management, integrity and marriage. I'm discovering my definitions are off. I'm discovering that my foundation has some pretty week stones that the Lord is gently crumbling and replacing. Some of those stones are represented in the language I have grown up with having spent my entire life in "church."

I realize it may sound like symantics, but bear with me for a moment. Jesus never talked about church as a destination. He never talked about it as a place. Instead he talked about church as something we are. It's a significant difference. It changes the way I think. I have spent thousands of hours in buildings that I have called "churches" over these last 45 years. Christians go to church, nonchristians don't. That was my conclusion. People will know we are Christians by our attendance at church, right?

Scriptures that stressed loving one another were all interpreted through my church lens. If Jesus told us to love one another that meant we were to love each other at church. The commandment to love God was to be fleshed out at church first and foremost. Even the commandment to remember a Sabbath rest was a cloaked directive to go to church. In fact, it seems to me that most of us in the church have reshaped Jesus' command to make disciples. Now it includes a general understanding that our greater goal to get them to come to church. "Lost sheep" now refers to people who have walked away from the church because to walk away from the church is to walk away from Jesus. Even the statistic that 90% of kids who grow up in the church walk away from it when they are in college betrays our bias. Are they walking away from Jesus or the institution?

Scripture teaches us that when we come to Christ we become part of the church regardless of whether we invest in an institution or not. The church is believers. The Lord is present in the church wherever believers happen to be.

Am I saying we should stop going to "church?" Yes. Instead the church (believers) should not give up gathering together to live life, share and discover the width and breadth of God's love. If an organization is filling our lives with more and more demands, adding to our burdens and making us weighed down so much that it zaps our energy and makes it impossible for us to live in the peace and rest that Jesus promised, we need to do whatever we can to get free to pursue Jesus. If an institution is using guilt or manipulation to get us to serve it, we need to step away. If we are using an institution to build ourselves up and convince others how much we are worth and how important we are, we need to recognize prideful motives and step away.

As a pastor, how often have I berated the people who show up, because of the people who don't? Do you know what I mean? I am guilty of spending time and effort in a bible study where the attendance was not large enough for me, sharply grilling those who came with, "Where is everybody?!?" I am guilty of attaching a higher level of significance and spiritual maturity to those who are "truly committed" enough to show up week after week. Maybe the truth was that some of those who stayed away were actually spiritually mature enough to recognize that their position in Christ did not hinge on getting to my study.

As a pastor, have I promoted the organism that feeds my needs, pays me and keeps me busy to a place where it is an idol? Do I serve the organization or Jesus? Do I equip people to operate as the church or do I promote a system that limits them and invites them into a codependant relationship? Do I work to convince them that they will fail away from our organization so that they will not leave? If they leave it will weaken our organization which needs their time and money to exist.

I want to do all I can to build the church, which is the people of God. I want the organizations I lead to free people and help them discover true community that exists outside the two hours we meet each Sunday. I want to provide a place where the church can gather, a place where the church can find resources and be refreshed. I want to provide a structure that is not much of a structure at all.

We have no sanctuary or holy of holies where God hangs out. Our building is not "God's house" and is no more special than the storefront on the corner or the corner table at Panera's.

I am the Eggman. I am the Walrus.Coo coo kachoo

Nonsensical lyrics penned by John Lennon left people grappling for his message. What is the eggman? Who is the walrus? Is it "coo coo kachoo" or "goo goo ga jube," Humpty Dumpty's last line before he fell off the wall to his death?

I've always, right or wrong, interpretted the eggman and walrus to be the center of attention and the final authority in the song. The Eggman and Walrus were, in my mind, the key players that really mattered.

In my continuing studies of biblical leadership I've been given much to wrestle with. What is a true leader by biblical standards?

I've read the books advising pastors to take control and exercise "pastoral authority" in leading their congregation. I've read the advice to make sure my name is printed boldly and large across the top of my letterhead. I've scratched my head hearing advice to place my desk between myself and those who come into my office and to make sure that my chair is just a bit higher up than those who enter into my dwelling. Afterall, I am the Eggman, right?

Eugene Peterson, tongue in cheek, wrote in "Working the Angles" that he is convinced that he could take any high school graduate and make him an accepted pastor in today's church by providing a six-month intensive with a four course curriculum. Course 1, he says, would focus on creative plagiarism supplying the tools for speaking with wit an wisdom simply by following the outlines found in books or through online resources. Course 2 would focus on voice control for prayer and counseling to provide a "holy Joe intonation." Course 3 would provide tools for efficient office management to give the appearance of a tight ship. Lastly, course 4 would present image projection focusing on a half-dozen devices to create the impression that we are "terrifically busy and widely sought after for counsel by influential people."

Biblical leadership is very different from secular leadership. It has nothing to do with self-elevation techniques and everything to do with reputation. When Paul warmly greeted the Thessalonians in the first three chapters of his first letter we see intimacy, integrity, sincerity and a reputation that cause people to want to follow his leadership. When we read Psalm 15 we discover that God desires authenticity that is shown in action. He desires men and women who reflect His heart and character.

Peterson believes in what he calls "angles" of ministry. Preaching, teaching and administration are the visible lines to a triangle and the angles are prayer, study of Scripture and then spiritual direction that we give to others.

My spiritual gifts, according to a variety of assessments are leadership and administration followed by preaching and teaching and hospitality. That gift mix, I am told, is a solid mix for pastoral ministry. Honestly I wonder why things feel so frantic if I do have this supposed "right mix" for ministry?

I suspect Peterson is accurate when he explains the stress that comes in church climates that seem to, "do their best to fill our schedules with meetings and appointments so that there is time neither for solitude nor leisure to be before God, to ponder Scripture, to be unhurried with another person."

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Be still and know that I am God.

But Lord, I have no time to be still.

Be still and know that I am God.

Sorry Lord, I have another meeting at 7.

Be still and know that I am God.

Lord, you understand that I have to get the publicity done for that upcoming event, right?

Be still and know that I am God.

I have to go to that special service.

Be still and know that I am God.

And what am I to do with the man who has cancer? The teenager who is confused? The young couple that is coming at 5?

Be still and know that I am God.

I know you are God but get off my back. I don't have time to be still. I am the eggman. I am the walrus. Too many people are depending on me. I, I, I ... me, me, me...

BE STILL. I AM GOD.

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The Lord is working on me. Is it possible to "do church" so much that we miss the point? Is it possible to be so focused on building attendance and adding good church programs that I cause people to feel the same frantic stress I feel? Is it possible to help hurried believers clear off their plates, head to the mountain and seek God in solitude?

Right now, I'm a good administrator and a decent preacher who is out of balance. The weight of work is pressing, pressing, pressing and consuming my life, my energy and my intimacy with God. I study Scripture for others, I pray for others and give hurried advice looking over the shoulder of the people I encounter to that next thing coming down the road. Like Jesus, I need to push away from the crowd and head up the mountainside where I can be still and rest in God.

I am not the eggman.
I am not the walrus. I am not the Light, I am only a light pointing to the Light.


Biblical leadership and integrity is not measured by the size of our programs, overflowing budgets, published works, name-dropping and self-elevation. It is measured by what the bible calls "fruit that will last." Biblical leadership reflects the heart and character of Jesus and compels others to follow a reasonable and achievable example that is lived out in front of them. It is 2 Tim 2:2 and the partnership talked about in Phillipians 1. Biblical leadership is not "lording over" people and making demands from position or status but walking alongside people and inviting them to a relationship.

I want to be a leader who reflects the heart and character of my Lord. Maybe that means working at Walmart and having a casual group in my home where we share life and be the church? Maybe it means clearing my ministry plate and starting again with a new set of definitions for success.

The stirring continues ...