I don't like altar calls. Does that make me bad?

Get out your sharpened number two pencils, it's time for a short quiz.

1) The customary altar call familiar to evangelical churches first appeared
a.) In the last 200 years
b.) When Noah's ark came to rest on dry ground
c.) When a song leader stroked and kept repeating "we're gonna sing just one more chorus."

The altar call came onto the scene around 1820. Somehow since then it has been elevated to a required God thing. If you don't do it you must certainly be ashamed of the gospel and ashamed of God. As a pastor, other pastors say you've watered down biblical teaching and are a liberal. In Pastor World those are major slams.

Okay, I'll just come out and say it. I don't like altar calls.

Why not? Most of the altar calls I see border more on manipulation than they do a move of the Holy Spirit. I see some different styles.

1) Work 'em up. This one is a favorite in youth camps. The key is to stir the emotions and work the people into a frenzy. Get a few teenage girls crying and you are guaranteed results. Please don't misunderstand me. Spontaneous tears happen but when we set out to trigger the tears, we manipulate. I remember a youth setting where an adult wept while introducing a drama I had seen before. The adult went on at length talking through tears about how emotional the drama was calling it "powerful." Numerous teens in the audience were crying before it even started. As the actors came out one by one with poster boards explaining a painful time on side one and then flipped it to reveal how God blessed brought victory, the weeping became louder and louder. The kids in the performance clung tightly to each other weeping outside the auditorium. It was a mess. The interesting thing to me was that I had seen the same skit performed at other conferences with an entirely different spin. The kids were pumped and excited about sharing God's victory over trials. In the other settings the performers brought the audience to applause. The only difference was the introduction.

2) Make 'em doubt. If you have been around evangelical churches for any length of time you have probably run into this one. The evangelist works hard to precede his call to commitment by getting his audience to question if they are truly saved. "If you were to die right this minute, are you 100% sure you would go to heaven?!?!" he booms. "Do you know the day when you came to Christ? If not, how can you be sure you are saved?" I've followed Jesus for 30 years and these guys can get me wondering.

3) Sneak 'em in. "With every head bowed and every eye closed, if you want to accept Jesus would you just raise your hand right now?" This one always puzzles me. First, I want to know why they have to raise their hands if not to give validation to the speaker? Can't they just pray right where they are without the hand in the air thing? The second thing I can't figure out is why we would call people to hide their decision from anyone else. It just doesn't make sense to me. I can't picture Jesus telling His disciples in a whisper, "Hey, follow me. No one will know. No one's looking."

4) Lie a little. I've heard the rationale for this but it just doesn't add up for me. I remember being trained as a counselor for an evangelist rolling through town. We were to come to the front immediately when he gave the invitation. As others saw us coming they would be more likely to say, "Hey, look at all those people going forward. I'm going to do it too." It seemed deceptive to me. The other one goes along with #3 above. I'm bad. I tend to keep looking around even when a speaker tells me to bow my head and close my eyes. The guys who start counting hands baffle me because I just don't count the same way. They are up to 12 or 15 and I've only seen one. "Yes, I see that hand. Yes, young man, thank you. Yes, there's another." I asked a guy at a coffee house about his count one time and after he cooled down he told me he just does it to encourage other people to put their hands up too. He does it so they don't think they are alone. Hmmm ...

5) Scare them. Skip abundant life with Jesus and go straight to telling them that they are going to die on their way home. Make it clear that they could get hit by a bus, have a heart attack or brain aneurysm or get shot. It's true, they might not make it another day. Without faith in Christ the bible tells us we will spend eternity in hell. But why do we abandon the prospect of a relationship with God right here on earth so quickly? I remember being at an all-night youth event when the speaker scolded some guys who were goofing around and not paying attention. He told them that he spoke at an event just like this one the year before and some kids were laughing like they were. Then he dropped the bomb on them telling them those kids' bus crashed on the way home and several died without knowing Jesus. They sat up and paid attention. Me? I didn't believe him. I had heard nothing of this bus crash and found no trace of it on the Internet. Bus crashes where kids die make the news. Maybe they missed this one.

6) Attract a crowd. The speaker starts off inviting people who don't know Jesus to come forward. Then he expands that to include people who want to recommit their lives to him. Next, he invites people who need prayer about anything. Then it's the "fresh touch." Then he moves to people who want someone to pray with them for someone else. Before you know it, it's down to, "If you're breathing, come forward." Well, at least it seems that way.

I'm curious about the whole "come forward" thing. I know that there are times in church history when it was about logistics and giving people a place to meet for prayer or to talk further. But over the last two hundred years it appears that some sort of power is associated with "coming to the altar."

I know there are lots of evangelists who don't manipulate and I know there are many who decided to trust Christ by going forward at an invitation. I'm among them. I'm also sure that I would have committed to follow Him right where I sat, if that had been the invitation.

The other problem I have with altar calls is that I think they convince the average believer that she can't introduce a friend to Christ. For many, evangelism has become the act of inviting someone to attend a special presentation rather than a process of loving, serving sharing life with epeople who don't know Christ.

For me, the potential value in going to the front is the opportunity to help connect someone who wants to follow Christ with someone who says, "I will be your friend and help you build your relationship with Him."

Evangelism is the act of one hungry beggar showing another where he found bread. (paraphrasing N.T. Niles)

My label is smudged

What am I? Am I "emergent?" A "re-envisionist?" I know that I am not a traditionalist though I do hold to a number of traditions. Where's my T.U.L.I.P. school of thought? Am I Augustinian? Reformed?

As I surf from blog to blog I see so many people in search of labels. Like the label on a soup can, we're looking for labels that will help us decide either to buy in or to put people back on the shelf. Take 'em or toss 'em, that's the goal.

A couple years back I had a parent pull her kids from our youth programs because we were using Rob Bell's Nooma videos to spark discussion. This mom had read about Rob's label on some website and decided he was a heretic endangering the spiritual well-being of her kids. Really? Yeah, really.

We have a group of students in Romania right now. Reading their blog posts I see that they are blown away by a couple of very significant differences from here at home. First, they are amazed at how kind the people are. People welcome them into their homes, smile and bring piles and piles of food to their guests even though they have limited resources. Second, when they walked into a local orphanage children immediately grabbed their hands and wrapped their arms tightly around their necks. No one cares about their labels - they just accept them and love them. When they returned to the orphanage the next night the kids ran to the cars to meet them with outstretched arms. They carried drawings and treasures for their new friends. They called them by name.

Our team is humbled by how much the people value them. The love of the locals is shaking them to the core. There is no care of the labels of Baptist or Orthodox - just acceptance.

From what I can see, the church of Jesus Christ is in a constant state of emergence. It is a living, breathing organism that responds to people. Its heart is rescue in Jesus Christ alone. Its character is Grace. Its conviction is that sin is a poison that destroys life. Its purpose is in loving and building people. It is the body of Christ.

Followers of Jesus entrenched in unchanging, dogmatic, legalistic systems that do not bring freedom find themselves having exchanged an external focus for an internal, self-preservationist one. And still, Jesus loves.

Big-tent followers who have dismissed the deity of Jesus Christ in the name of becoming a great "One," have torn out the heart of the gospel. And still, Jesus loves.

Followers who have dismissed sin and the destruction it brings for more comfortable messages have forgotten the loving purpose of God in defining sin. They have removed the warning labels on the poison bottles and placed them on the shelves next to the soda. And still, Jesus loves.

What am I? Emergent? Traditionalist? Modern? Postmodern? I feel like a pot of stone soup, of late. It seems everyone has something to throw in my pot. Some of it looks great while other things are falling apart and have a rotten stench.

That woman is looking at me with her one eyebrow hiked a bit higher than the other. I can see that she's trying to read my label. It's smudged and she's not getting a good enough look to decide if I am worthy of interaction.

I like it that way.

That's an ugly baby!

We've all been in the same awkward position. Someone hands us a picture of a baby or holds out their little bundle of joy and says, "Isn't she the cutest baby you've ever seen?" It's one of those times when we all lie rather than give our true opinion. Their little bundle of joy looks like a cross between some alien species, an old man and a prune. You're thinking, "when she was born, the doctor most likely slapped her mother."

I always wonder if the parents are deluded or if they truly think their little critter is cute. Maybe they are just playing a joke on us? The best man in my wedding used to carry a picture of an ugly girl in his wallet to pull out whenever people would ask about his girlfriend. He loved to watch their reaction. Is that it?

My three kids were all very cute babies. At least, I think they were. They certainly were adorable to me. But how do I know they weren't "breath-taking" like the baby on Seinfeld? Nah ... they were definitely cute.

It has to be the love that parents have for their kids that make them so beautiful in their eyes. The perspective of the viewer is what brings beauty.

That has to be what's at work when Jesus looks at the church and sees it as a beautiful bride. It's His love that makes the church beautiful to Him. He sees it as precious.

I look at the church, myself, my friends and see all the imperfections. I see the squabbles, the insecurity, the legalism and selfishness and think, "Ick. We're a mess!" But, because of God's Grace, He looks at the same picture and smiles and His heart explodes with fondness.

I see the church fighting about being emergent, conservative, fundamental or liberal and wonder what we're doing. We fight about when Jesus is going to return (even though he told us no one knows when). We fight about speaking in tongues and being "spirit-filled." We fight about music, what version of the bible is acceptable, predestination and how long it took God to make the universe. We fight about politics and appoint certain candidates as God's choice while others, if elected, are the anti-Christ. We gather in tight societies of people who think just like us and then, when something eventually divides us, we start church shopping again for a better group of people where we claim we "can be fed."

And Jesus looks on us as a beautiful bride while the Father calls us the apple of His eye. God's grace is a mystery. It takes the ugly and makes it beautiful.

We're an ugly baby but our Father sees us as truly beautiful.

Smack them with a good dose of God?

My mom used to threaten to spank me with a yardstick. I didn't like the yardstick. When I'd see it come out of its cupboard home I'd change my behavior to avoid its sting.

What did your parents use to punish you? A paddle? Isolation? Losing a priviledge? I bet you didn't like whatever it was. Maybe it was the simple words, "Just wait until your father gets home!" Gee, that sure made us excited to see Daddy!

Getting kids to change their behavior is not an easy task. It would be easier if we could get God on our side. What would they do then?

Picture a five year old little cutie in her pretty church dress spinning around and enjoying the freedom of the big church hallway. There she is dancing and spinning with a smile from ear to ear ... until some other little kid dares to invade her space. The princess is peeved and gives him a shove to make it clear that he should bug off. But mom was watching her do it. Even worse, apparently Jesus was bummed about her behavior too.

"Do you know who saw you do that?" the mom said in frustration. "Jesus saw you do that and that does not make him happy!"

Ouch. Poor kid. Her head dropped and the expression on her face changed to sadness. It was bad enough to make mom mad but Jesus too? He was so disappointed with her.

It's tough being a parent. We all react out of anger sometimes. It's tempting to use God to give us the support we want. If our kids won't listen to us then surely they'll listen to God. Our kids grow up learning of God and discovering that he is apparently a lot like us. His voice even sounds like ours.

I remember the parent who punished her preadolescent son by sending him to his room to read his bible and write a summary of what God told him. By the time he reached the teen years he wanted nothing at all to do with bible study. It was like the yardstick was for me. The bible came to be associated with the negative.

When we use God or his Word to punish our kids we risk robbing them of the fullness of relationship with their Creator. That's not what any of us wants.

No one wants to hang out with instruments of punishment, pain or discomfort. I want my children to grow knowing the boundless love of the Savior. I want them to bathe in his grace and love. I want them to know that he will not turn his back on them or foresake them. And when they know that, they will want to reflect His character.

But first, I have to set my sights on reflecting His character in my own life so that they see Jesus in me. I must be less concerned about punishment and more concerned about discipline.

Punishment seeks payment whereas discipline seeks growth.

I felt like a big ole creeper

I went to a church softball game today. It's a church league actually. The fields are crawling with Christians. It was a bit surreal. Every "church" sat by itself cheering on only its players. There was no mixing.

I decided to try some experiments and wandered into the territory of other "churches." First, I tried just hanging out to see if anyone would talk to me. Nope, not a word. In fact, when I sat on the bleachers with one group of folks I had the very distinct feeling that I was not welcome in their space.

Next, I got a couple of ice-cold bottles of water out of the cooler and headed to mingle with another group. I offered a few people a cold drink. They all politely refused until one little girl told her mom she was thirsty. Her mom tried to put her off but I said, "Here, have some water. I don't want to walk away knowing this little girl told me she was thirsty and I gave her nothing to drink." I smiled at my ability to weave a bit of bible into the conversation but no one else smiled. Strike two! I headed off again leaving the bottle on the end of a row.

In my "church's" second game I decided to give it one more try while the teams were on the field. I walked over with my camera and offered to send the other team the digital shots if they wanted them. He looked at me like I had three eyes, but it was close so I'm going to say I fouled this one off. I would take one more hack at it. I spotted a lady with a boxer dog who was trying to pull her all over the place. I took a stab at some small talk with, "Man, he's pretty strong, huh? What's his name?" She told me he was strong but offered no name. Maybe she hadn't heard me. "What's his name? Is he friendly?" She turned her back on me and talked to some of her friends. Ouch. Strike three!

I again headed back to our "church's" spot where it was safe and people like me - or at least pretend to like me. Feeling like a big ole creeper as the result of my sociological experiment, my ego wounded and my ideals for the church of Jesus Christ dashed, I needed some comfort among my own people.

I think the church is bigger than these little buildings on every other street corner. I wish we felt more confident to be the church when we exit the front doors and leave the parking lot. I wonder what this softball league would look like if it went from churches playing against each other to the church enjoying each other and fellowshipping while playing softball.

I have a feeling it would be pretty attractive.