When is a gym not a gym?

I don't speak Japanese. I don't speak Spanish. I speak enough French to ask where the library is and to ask someone their name. Je'mapelle Scott? Language is important.

My oldest son is a bio-chemist. He talks about things like amino acids, replication and proteins doing this and that. He's writing a thesis paper and has told me what it's about but I really have no idea what he was talking about.

My youngest son is studying to be a chef. He talks about sauces and cuts and uses a whole set of jargon that I don't understand. When he's talking to other chef types they enjoy the banter but I'm lost.

How much Jesus jargon do we have? How much church jargon?

In our church we have something we call a "Family Life Center." It's a place that has a sweet glass basketball backboard at each end and lines painted into a nice vinyl floor for basketball and for volleyball. We have posts that slide into recessed holes in the floor and then a nice volleyball net stretches across from pole to pole. It's awesome. There are also a couple of basketball backboards mounted to the side wall. It's a "Family Life Center" but it looks exactly like what everyone who is visiting us would call a "gym."

"Join us for coffee in the Family Life Center," we announce to our visitors. But like me listening to my son talking about piepettes I wonder if our visitors say, "Hmmm, I wonder where that is? Is it down near the gym?"

We have a room we call a "parlor" and we have a "chapel" and we have a "sanctuary." We hand out "bulletins." What do you have for jargon? If you were visiting your church and had no idea what was going on, would the language help you or make you feel even more out of place.

If it were up to me, I'd call a gym a gym and replace the signs to the "sanctuary" with signs to the "main auditorium." It might make things sound less spiritual but it would certainly help people find their way around better.

What would you do to make newcomers feel more comfortable?

Buttery fingers can't grasp anything

I give it one thumb up and one thumb down ...

Critics are everywhere. Have you ever noticed that no matter what you do some people are ready to sit back in their chair and give you a free evaluation of everything that is weak or could use improvement? It's like the movie reviewers on television. One guy likes the cinematography but the other guy doesn't like the costumes.

Critics sit there munching on their yellow, buttery popcorn giving their rationale of why things suck so bad. You put your efforts into your story, your event, your plans and they shred it like it's their calling.

I wish continual critics who believe they have a gift of critiquing would announce their intentions before they get hold of my ear. Sometimes I get sucked in pretty deep before I realize, "Woah, wait. This endless barrage is coming from a barrager." (If that's not a word it should be.) They are the machine guns of criticism. Machine guns never really surprise me by the number of bullets they pump out but the barrager gets me off guard pretty often. By the time I recognize their deal, I'm full of holes and bleeding profusely. If I knew their plans and saw them coming I would have taken time to put on a flack jacket.

I remember interacting with Tim at a summer camp. I was speaking and Tim made sure to let me know his every thought of improving the camp. He talked to me about the food, the lights, the band and even the waterfront. He told me what was wrong with the games and told me how he would do things different. He critiqued every service. It wasn't long before I recognized the pattern. I am pretty sure that after Jesus returns, Tim will fold his arms and say, "Yeah, that was good but here's what I would have done ..."

On day three I spotted Tim making his way across the field headed straight for me. When he reached me and started to speak I stopped him and said, "Tim, before you say anything critical I want to hear you tell me two things that you are pumped about." He frowned, folded his arms and walked away. He couldn't do it! It made me sad ... and glad that I didn't have to listen to more complaints.

The rest of the week, each time Tim approached me, I gave him the same request. Each time he walked away silent. In a camp of 300 people where everyone was well fed and safe, where kids where growing in faith, where the worship was sweet and fellowship deep, Tim could find nothing to be excited about. Wow.

What's your deal? Sometimes I slip into the critic role and find myself grading worship services, speakers and music. I critique lighting, costs and settings. During those times, I normally miss the value of whatever it is I am critiquing. I totally miss it.

When I choose the role of critic rather than encourager, servant, participant, worshipper, I am left only with greasy, slimy, cheap butter-coated fingers that can't grip anything.

When I choose to allow a barrager to riddle me with bullets time and again, I cannot help but get discouraged from what the Lord has called me to. We can only bleed for so long.

Psalm 119:36-39
Give me a bent for your words of wisdom, and not for piling up loot. Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets, invigorate me on the pilgrim way. Affirm your promises to me - promises made to all who fear you. Deflect the harsh words of my critics - but what you say is always so good.

Hello CEO - life in the corporate church

Win/Win: Is it possible?

Imagine a system where we dared trust God enough to put the needs of others above our own. Imagine a church where we dared rejoice when others did well rather than choose bitterness and envy.

My dad told me that my being a pastor was payback for all the years he sat on church boards vocally opposing every benefit his pastor might receive. He fought against them having too much vacation, repairs to a parsonage or increases to match cost of living. "I was the guy who made their lives hell and now my son is a pastor."

Dad worked hard to make sure his pastors didn't receive more vacation than he did. He opposed training and conferences because his job didn't allow him additional training. Whatever he was stuck with he made sure his pastor could share his misery.

Ministry is odd. We juggle between idealism and providing for our families. We teach that God will supply all our needs while we pray that our cars will last another thousand miles and school loan payments are deferred again. (I remember those days very well. They were much different than my today.)

I cannot count all the guys I know who could not afford to stay in ministry. The young ministry couples I have counselled over the years who were at each other's throats over financial stresses is disheartening. I bet most of those situations were the result of influential people in congregations who were more concerned with limiting than they were with blessing. Their mindset is, "It's not fair for you to have something I don't have."

During my time in ministry I have heard, "that's not how it works in the corporporate world" too many times. I always am tempted to ask which corporate model the limiter is referring to. Is it Hewlett Packard, a company known for generously taking care of employees or is it AIG? Is it a corporation that dumps faithful employees just a year short of retirement benefits?  No. I think it usually refers to the limiter's own corporate experience.

Do we really want to follow the model of corporate America? Wouldn't we instead want to represent Jesus well since we are His church?

I believe there should be no better place to work than the church of Jesus Christ. If you're hating working for your church it could be time to ask who the CEO is. If you don't see much evidence of the love and care of Christ, He's probably not the CEO.

I was called to work for Jesus, not a corporation.

I can't seem to find God

"Where do you find God?"

Simple question but I had no simple answer. Actually I had no answer. That bugged me. What kind of Christ follower can't even tell you where he finds God?

I've never had God speak to me. He doesn't talk to me. Honestly, I'm glad He doesn't. I'm pretty sure I'll have a heart attack if I wake up to the voice of God. Will He sound like the booming echo in the Ten Commandments or will He have the English accent fresh from Monty Python? Either way I am pretty sure I'd drop dead from fear. I read of a televangelist saying Jesus appears to him while he shaves and they chat it up. If that happens to me I will be unconscious from the moment my forehead bounces off the rim of the toilet on my way to instantly being on my face before God.

Where do I find God since He's not handing me a towel in the morning? My friend's question nagged me for a couple days until the "ah hah!" moment hit.

It's a little bit gross but stick with me. The answer came when I was riding a local trail by the city sewer plant. The stench was as awful as ever from the giant mixers churning the lumpy brown water in huge, outdoor, cement pools. When i was riding past, trying to hold my breath, a bunch of little birds decided to play with me. When I approached them in their spot on the chainlink fence, they darted out in front of me to the berry bushes on the other side of the path. Looking for them I had to also see the view of the Maine coast with a rusty train tressel stretching across the bay.  Not seeing the birds, I started noticing the stench again. Woosh! The birds were back on the fence making a racket. I think they were laughing at me.

A few of them almost hit me when they darted back to the oceanside. The clouds were piled on top of each other like cotton and the water was a vibrant blue. The sewer plant was behind me now.

And that's where it hit me. My friend's question was a mystery to me because I don't have to "find" God at all. Instead I just have to see Him in every setting and every circumstance. He saturates everything.

I think we all tend to focus on the sewage too much. Maybe those birds were laughing at me because I was so busy complaining about how bad things smelled that I was missing God's handiwork. I was missing the mystery of the divine.

Maybe God used those birds to speak to me? Naah, that's crazy talk, right?

"By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse." Romans 1:20, The Message